Calm down strategies are activities kids and teens can use to manage tough emotions, self-regulate, and feel more relaxed. These are important skills for every person to know, which is why it’s crucial to give kids and teens a foundation of strong calm down strategies early on. In turn, knowing and using these techniques can help kids feel calmer, more focused, and more regulated.
Calm down strategies are like tools in a toolbox.
It helps to think of calm down strategies like tools in a toolbox. Sometimes, you need a different tool for a certain job, so it helps to have many tools to choose from.
Imagine a child is angry because they lose a game. They need a calm down strategy to help them cope with those big feelings and regulate their emotions. They might need to take some deep breaths, take a brisk walk to the fountain to get a drink, and then color for a few minutes.
Imagine another learner is feeling worried about a math test coming up. In this case, they might need to use positive self-talk and talk to someone to talk out their worries.
Effective calm down strategies are unique to each person.
Something very important about calm down strategies is that these techniques are really unique to each person. What works for one child in a particular moment might not work for someone else. Sometimes, one strategy might work really well most of the time, but it’s just not working in that particular moment. We have to help kids explore calm down strategies to find what works!
Calm down strategies require practice.
All skill require practice, but this is even more important when it comes to managing tough emotions. That’s because when we are upset or overwhelmed, our brains aren’t functioning optimally. When our emotions take over, we’re using the limbic part of our brains instead of the prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking part of our brains. And while this is true for all of us as humans, it’s especially true for kids and teens whose brains haven’t fully developed yet.
With that, it’s extremely important that calm down strategies are easy and second-nature for kids and teens. That requires a lot of practice!
“Calm down strategies require lots of practice. Kids should feel comfortable and confident with their strategies so they can use them when they really need them.”
When practicing, it helps to remember the “I do, we do, you do” model. For each strategy, model it by showing what it looks like. Then, practice that technique together many times. Lastly, you can encourage students to initiate the calm down strategy on their own.
Calm down strategies to practice:
1. Check in with feelings.
One of the most important strategies is to check in with our emotions and give them space. Kids and teens need to feel validated in how they are feeling. There are many different ways to help learners check in with their own emotions.
Start by using a daily emotions check-in worksheet to identify how you are feeling and what you might need to move forward.
2. Color or draw.
Coloring and drawing is a often a naturally calming activity. Grab some coloring pages (I love these calm and self-regulation worksheets, but any will do!). Let students choose a favorite page, set the tone with calming music, and let the calming coloring take place.
Another idea is to find coloring pages specifically related to your individual student’s interest. For example, you can head to the dollar store and pick up coloring books on topics like cars, animals, or sports.
3. Think positive thoughts.
Thinking about happy things in our lives can be a healthy distraction technique to help us feel calm in the moment. Some questions to guide this conversation might include:
- What makes you happy?
- What does your perfect day look like?
- What makes you laugh?
- When did you smile today?
- Who is someone who boosts your mood?
4. Take deep breaths.
Mindful breathing is the practice of focusing on our inhales and exhales. Plenty of research supports deep breathing as a self-regulation strategy. To make deep breathing more memorable, try fun and engaging breathing exercises like “cool off the pizza” and “pinwheel breathing” to start.
Add your mindful breathing cards on a ring to practice whenever you have a few minutes between tasks.
5. Talk to someone.
A safe place to talk can be an extremely healthy calming strategy for kids and teens of all ages. When we practice talking to someone as a calm down strategy, we have two options: talk about the problem to work through it and talk about something completely unrelated just to feel calm and relaxed first.
To talk through the problem, try some of these questions:
- How are you feeling right now?
- What are some ways we can work through this problem?
- What strategies do you think would help you?
On the other hand, sometimes you just need space from a problem. This is where talking to distract comes into play. For this, you can use relationship-building questions that are both engaging and meaningful at the same time.
6. Make a list of choices.
Creating a list of choices gives a sense of control that kids and teens sometimes need in the moment. Use social problem-solving scenarios to discuss and come up with a list of choices together as practice. For example, imagine someone is poking you in the back and that is making you feel upset. What are some choices? You could tell a teacher, ask to move your seat, or turn around and tell the person to stop.
7. Set the timer and take a break.
Using a timer makes taking a break more concrete for many kids and teens. My favorite is using a visual timer because it shows exactly how much time is needed for a break. During that break time, try coloring, drawing, or listening to music.
8. Read.
Some kids and teens love reading, making this a simple calm down strategy to put into practice. For others, you can start setting the tone by dimming the lights, letting kids get comfortable, and reading a good book aloud. You can even use read alouds that target social-emotional skills.
9. Think of a pet (or someone you love).
Focus on the positive by thinking of a pet or someone that you love. You can give students time to share about their special someone. For learners who don’t feel comfortable sharing out loud, encourage them to draw a picture or write about that pet or person.
10. Look at photos.
Photos are a visual way to evoke many different emotions. Choose photos that you know will evoke positive emotions for your learners and look at them together. For example, I might choose pictures of dogs or other wildlife to help me feel calm and relaxed. Someone else, on the other hand, might enjoy pictures of trains or cars.
11. Use positive self-talk.
The words we think make a big impact on our mood. Use positive self-talk as a strategy to reset into a calmer and happier mood. There are so many different ways to teach and practice positive self-talk with kids. Start with a list of affirmations to read and discuss. You can choose favorite statements and make your own lists.
Another technique is to color using positive affirmations. For each free positive self-talk worksheet, students will color in a picture using different self-talk statements. The idea here is that the more they color, the more they practice those important positive affirmations.
12. Take a walk or exercise.
Getting your body moving is always an important technique for managing stress and tough emotions. Lead some group exercises with jumping jacks, stretches, push-ups, and more. If you need inspiration, check out videos on YouTube focused on exercise routines for kids.
13. Write in a journal.
Use writing to express emotions and feel calmer in the moment. There are many options for using a journal to relax. A social-emotional journal is easy and provides a simple way for kids to reflect each day. The idea here is to provide a social-emotional prompt and allow kids to share.
Another technique is using mindfulness-based journal prompts. One of my favorites is a guided visualization. Provide a picture of a calming place, like a beach or forest. Then, allow kids to imagine being in that calm place and write about what they see, hear, smell, and feel around them.
You can also keep it simple and allow free-write time for kids to express how they’re feeling or what is on their mind.
14. Listen to music.
Find some calming music and play it out loud for your kids and teens. It helps to experiment with different styles of music. Some options can include classical music, nature sounds, and instrumental pieces. You can allow kids to just listen or draw while they hear what is playing.
15. Spend time in nature.
Nature is naturally calming. Get outside for a walk in your local park or even just outside the school. As you walk, pause to think about what you can hear, smell, feel, and see around you. In addition to this, I’ve found that some students are more willing to open up when we have walked outside of the school building. Getting outside provides a fantastic opportunity for relationship-building, practicing mindfulness, building social-emotional skills, and practicing calming strategies.
16. Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a self-regulation technique that encourages us to focus on the present moment. This can provide a sense of calm, and it’s a great strategy to teach kids because they can bring it with them anywhere they go. While there are plenty of different mindfulness techniques to look into, one worth sharing is a free Mindful Morning 5-4-3-2-1 activity. For this activity, students follow a simple 5-step prompt to help them relax and decompress.
17. Organize or de-clutter.
For some kids and adults, organizing and de-cluttering materials can be naturally calming. It also provides a sense of pride when the task is completed and cleaned. Spend time tidying up desks, backpacks, or bookshelves in the classroom.
18. Practice gratitude.
Practicing gratitude means appreciating what we have. This is a healthy calm down strategy that focuses on the positive things in our lives. What’s great is that we can be grateful for all sorts of things, big and small. We might feel grateful for family, friends, and the possessions we have. We might also feel grateful for the smell of our favorite meal being cooked or the feeling of sunshine on a warm day.
Help kids and young adults practice gratitude by choosing something each day to be grateful for. Give time to share and discuss.
Another gratitude activity is to record what you are grateful for in a gratitude journal. This is another meaningful strategy because it keeps a record of what you are grateful for in one spot.
19. Use fidgets.
Get hands-on with calming strategies using fidgets. There are so many different options to choose from here, and they’re going to vary depending on your individual students. A few of my favorites to look into include:
- Worry stones
- Calm strips
- Visual timers
- Fidget remotes
- Sensory sand
One really fun way to teach about using fidgets as a calm down tool is to choose a few. Then, set up different centers for students to try. Give a few minutes at each center before students move on to the next. At the end of the activity, come back together as a group to discuss which fidgets were the favorites.
20. Create art.
Simply put, art is a fantastic way to express our feelings in a healthy way. Besides drawing, there are many ways to create art. Have students design a poster, paint a picture, or create a collage.
You can also add in some craft activities that specifically teach about calm down strategies. Try a coping strategies wheel to review coping strategies and create a tool to use at a later time.
21. Plan a fun activity.
Planning a fun activity can help kids calm down by thinking towards the future to something more positive. When you plan a fun activity, this can be something real or completely made-up. Try planning a day at a zoo or a dream trip to an interesting country.
22. Stand up and stretch.
One of the simplest calm down strategies is just to get up and move your body! Practice simple stretches or yoga postures. Once students have this down, they can even lead the class with some simple stretches.
Learn More About Coping Strategies
- Coping Strategies Every Child and Teen Should Know
- 25+ Coping Skills Activities to Help Kids Manage Stress
- Free Calm-Down Tools
- Coping Strategies Resources
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