Coping strategies are the activities we use to help us feel calm and emotionally regulated. There are countless different strategies we can use, from practicing slow and relaxing breaths to exercising and moving our bodies. Different strategies work for different people. In fact, different strategies even work for different scenarios. This is why it helps to think of coping strategies as tools in a toolbox.
The idea is really simple: Students learn about coping strategies, practice several techniques, and choose their favorites. Ultimately, kids can keep their “toolbox” of strategies with them when they need to use the skills the most.
Use the five simple steps below to help kids and teens build their own individual “coping strategies toolbox”. Note that you can give this idea a try completely on your own, but I’ve also put everything together for you in a Coping Strategies Toolbox Lesson and Activity. With this, you can use to make this idea extra hands on and meaningful for your learners. The most important part is that coping strategies are meaningful and memorable for kids.
Use the five simple steps below to help kids and teens build their own individual “coping strategies toolbox”.
1. Explain the importance of coping strategies
Start with explaining what coping strategies are and why they matter. Coping strategies are activities we use to help us cope (or deal) with tough emotions and stress. It’s important to highlight that we all feel stressed, upset, angry, or frustrated sometimes. These are natural and normal emotions. The key is learning healthy strategies to help us cope with those feelings so we can be resilient and get back to feeling our best.
A few times we might use coping strategies include:
- You feel frustrated when you can’t figure out the answer to a challenging question or puzzle.
- You feel sad when you miss a friend or family member who is far away.
- You feel stressed that you have a lot of work due this week.
What other examples can you think of?
2. Practice different coping strategies together
One of the most important overlooked steps is practicing coping strategies when we are calm. We wouldn’t learn new math or reading skills when we’re overwhelmed or upset; the same is true for coping skills. We need to introduce and practice them when we’re feeling calm. This might feel strange at first, because you will be practicing strategies like deep breathing or coloring when you’re already relaxed, but this is the best way to help your brain build automaticity with coping skills!
In other words, you want to practice the coping skills enough so they feel comfortable to use all the time. That way, when you are actually feeling upset or overwhelmed, engaging in the coping strategy will almost feel second nature to you.
Some simple coping strategies to try include:
- Deep Breathing – Sit comfortably and slowly breathe in and out. To make this practice a bit more memorable, try breathing techniques like 4-7-8 breathing and apple pie breathing.
- Mindful Coloring – Grab coloring pages and colored pencils for some relaxing coloring practice. Feel free to set the tone with relaxing music as you breathe and color quietly.
- Reading – Choose a good book and read! You can opt for silent reading time or use read alouds with a whole group. Audiobooks are also a great option.
- Listening to Music – Find some calming music to listen to. You can practice slow breathing or mindful coloring at the same time.
- Checking in with Emotions – Take a moment to pause and think about how you feel. Use an emotions check-in worksheet to help you express your emotions.
- Exercising – Get your body moving with some exercise. Lead a group in simple stretches, jumping jacks, or jogging in place. If you can, it helps to get outside and take a walk too.
Learn more about different coping strategies you can practice with kids and teens.
3. Choose your favorite coping strategies
The beauty of coping strategies is that different techniques often work well for different people. One person might feel calm when coloring. Someone else might feel more relaxed after a jog. It’s about finding what works for each individual person; this is true whether you are 9 or 99 years old!
Once you have tried different coping strategies, make a list of your top strategies to “keep with you” when you need them the most. Remember that these are the tools for your coping strategies toolbox!
4. Practice using coping strategies in times of stress
Once you have a “toolbox” with some of your favorite coping strategies, keep your list nearby. When you feel upset, overwhelmed, or stressed, pause and check in with yourself: Which coping strategy could I use right now?
An important point here is that not all coping strategies are going to work neatly in every situation. For example, if you feel frustrated with a question on a test in class, you might not be able to just go for a walk! However, you could use positive self-talk or take some deep breaths. It’s about finding the strategies that work in the moment.
Imagine each of the scenarios and discuss which strategies you might use:
- You feel overwhelmed with homework at home. Which coping strategy might you use?
- You angry when a friend interrupts you during a conversation. Which coping strategy might you use?
- You feel upset when you cannot figure out the answer to a question on a math worksheet. Which coping strategy might you use?
- You didn’t get much sleep and just feel in a bad mood from the start. Which coping strategy might you use?
- You feel annoyed that you were late to lunch and the line is long. Which coping strategy might you use?
- You feel sad that you didn’t get the part in the play you wanted. Which coping strategy might you use?
5. Re-practice and re-visit coping strategies often
Building your coping strategies toolbox is a practice you should revisit often! As growing individuals (all of us, no matter the age), our preferences change over time. Someone might notice that they feel less relaxed with listening to music, but they have instead started to enjoy reading or journal writing. Come back to practice and experience new coping strategies from time to time. Use this free list of coping strategies to provide you with fresh ideas from time to time. You never know what you might learn!
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